Invariably when you possess a strong stereotypical gay talent, friends take advantage. Decoratin’ we’re talkin’ bout decoratin’ here. Such is the case when invited over for a visit to various apartments, dwellings and trailers. I travel with swank. Much protesting followed with more plying usually with whatever they have best on hand such as liquor, pills or weed then I concede to the task with some sweeping statement like, “But I insist upon carte blanche darling!” Said like Norma Desmond telling Cecil B. DeMille her demands for a part in a movie that doesn’t even exist.
The best bit and I’m only too happy to do this is rooting through other peoples stuff. I just love it! Love doin’ it. “Oh this is nice...” followed with, “Wow I haven’t seen one of these in a while...” Then my killer instinct kicks into gear, “That is such an unattractive piece ruining a perfectly good collection that needs to be culled anyway.” Another approach when I’m a snake about to strike, “Let me take it off your hands and dispose of it for you!”
Sadly my latest charity case is a methodically compulsive recycling machine. “You don’t have a lot to work with here?” Then I find it. A genuine photo-realistic polybutylene mimeographed advertising banner with grommets from the very important Madonna documentary “Truth or Dare”. The one fabulous thing in an otherwise dreary assemblage. He’s a Madonna fan. I could have worked it so it would have been mine but he needed it. It truly was the only thing the one and only piece of art that could have been positioned over the bed. Besides she’s a Madonna queen.
“Lets play Madonna videos on Youtube while we re-decorate?”
“I wish Youtube had a player function where you could line up like thirty videos in a row kinda like MTV used to be.”