I dig through trash piles! There I said it. I-Dig-Through-Trash-Piles. Are you happy now. Not just any trash piles but the really good ones. Like the ones and I hate to say this but the ones where somebody died and they just came in and took the furniture and threw out all the rest.
Like this one time I ran up on this place that had hundreds of garbage bags full of collectible stuff. It was like a gold mine. I took all of it and spent hours sifting through and by the time I finished I knew everything about the person who lived there right down to a social security card.
The following items were recently mined from the trash bags yielded from this trash pile unearthed many years ago.
Two 1966 Peek-a-Boo calendars from a local garage. They have a piece of acetate with bikini’s painted on.
Breck’s of Boston mail order catalog 1967. They have some good prices...
I’m ordering my entire spring wardrobe from Breck’s,
And some new disposable paper frocks,
And an Arnel drip dry shift,
I always thought Arnel was a pretty name, you know like with some exotic last name Like Arnel Valasquez.
Some shining Dynel wigs. Dynel would be Arnels’ twin.
A new corselette because my old corselette is just about shot.
A new personal daintiness on the go travel syringe because once again my old one is just about shot.
Some new leprechauns to guard the garden. These are good quality leprechauns I can tell. If it’s one thing I know it’s a good quality leprechaun and these are good quality leprechauns.
The ultimate in piercing. Slow acting time released automatic self piercing rings.
I've been meaning to get around to glamorizing my wall phone.
Every car should have a child catcher harness restraint strap thing.
I also found an enormous box of Wacky Packages and the like.
Trash:
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It's like my whole childhood (except, thankfully, the feminine hygine thingy. Hold your water Sybil!) in a garbage bag. How appropriate.
ReplyDeletefirst of all....I dig through trash too. It's how I furnished my apartment.
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, I'm about to die of jealousy.
1. This made me laugh my ass off.
ReplyDelete2. My kids have long been inured to the humiliation of going on walks with mom in our nice neighborhood and having to stop as I pick stuff up off the curb. "Excuse me, I'm saving the planet!" I lie in a self-righteous tone of voice.
Looks like Scooter's gonna do a little shoppin!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I loved Wacky Packages!!!!
I love those time release earrings. David Lovell was the first boy in our class to have his ear pierced. I was green with envy, I remember writhing on my bed like Isadora Duncan in a jealous rage. I begged my mother for a pierced ear, but she wouldn't let me, saying I'd look cheap. So I swapped a harmonica, a jar of marbles and a Blondie record for a pair of gold studs with the girl next door, and pierced my left lobe myself, not once but twice, my long 80's hair style covered them. After a week or so the swelling and the oozing puss dissappeared and I got a brand new hairdo. My mother went ape when she saw what I'd done but I didn't care. The next day at school I was deliberately late for class, so I could make an entrance, I felt like Olivia Newton John in Grease I heard gasps, I stopped at David Lovell's desk with a supercilious smile on my face. "Tell me about it stud!"
ReplyDeletethese are great! i'm all for personal daintiness!
ReplyDelete