Tranny Time:























“Turquoise 34” pronounced -Turk’waas thudy fo- is a mild mannered teen in her mind. She likes color-coordinated turquoise, task lamp up-lighting, ankle strap stilettos, fiber optics, sleepovers, playing records, dancing, tattoos, studying for health exams, piercing nipples, navels, and she dreams of being the head hooker of an Arabian harem in a Miami penthouse.

Turquoise 34 hates her parents! She thinks they’re square. She embarrasses them at family functions by eating grits, shooting heroin, going into convulsive spasms and vomiting on relatives. She yells nasty obscenities at them and slams her bedroom door several times loudly. She’s mean to Grandma too and once pushed her down the stairs. She gave her father herpes and made her mother miscarry.
























Turquoise 34 dreams of escaping her dreary home life and she’s posted a profile on “tunatrap.com”. It reads among other things, “Sexy Turquoise Tramp looking for Mr. Trouble”, “You fuck me while your wife watches”, “Meth and X make me horny”, “Lip injections turn me on”, and “Webcam on request”.

Turquoise 34 is currently four months pregnant but plans to abort in the future. She wants to sell the placenta to a cosmetic corporation and get a bikini wax with the profits. If a stem cell research facility offered her more cash she might go on a Brazilian plastic surgery holiday in Rio.



Turquoise 34’s joyless duration on earth as re-imagined by the magnificent Mitzi:

Turquoise thirty-four (plus 276 months to give you her full title) had suffered a stroke 2 years ago, and she’s become such an undemanding soul, so easy to please. She doesn’t need fast cars; new clothes or even clean underwear anymore, all she requires for a blissful existence is television. Jerry Springer, Oprah Winfrey, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Trisha are her favourites; with topics such as “I Stole A Kiss At The Office Party With A Married Colleague” and “Help! I’m addicted to Sudoku” it pleases Turquoise to know that other people’s lives are much worse than her own. “It’s escapism” But before her stroke, Turquoise could have made sure the genre continues for many many years, from her own experiences, topics such as:

I’m involved in a love polyhedron

How can I cure my teapot fetish?

I’m having regular bareback sex with a donkey called Nobby.

I can’t stop masturbating in shop windows

I’m his grandma but he doesn’t know that I’m really his granddad

I’m A Cannibal

7 comments:

  1. what the hell sort of botched vaginoplasty is that

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  2. The homemade kind of course, where you pull your dick between your legs and sit on it.

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  3. Turquoise thirty-four (plus 276 months to give you her full title) had suffered a stroke 2 years ago, and she’s become such an undemanding soul, so easy to please. She doesn’t need fast cars; new clothes or even clean underwear anymore, all she requires for a blissful existence is television. Jerry Springer, Oprah Winfrey, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Trisha are her favourites; with topics such as “I Stole A Kiss At The Office Party With A Married Colleague” and “Help! I’m addicted to Sudoku” it pleases Turquoise to know that other people’s lives are much worse than her own. “It’s escapism” But before her stroke, Turquoise could have made sure the genre continues for many many years, from her own experiences, topics such as:

    I’m involved in a love polyhedron

    How can I cure my teapot fetish?

    I’m having regular bareback sex with a donkey called Nobby.

    I can’t stop masturbating in shop windows

    I’m his grandma but he doesn’t know that I’m really his granddad

    I’m A Cannibal

    ReplyDelete
  4. I thought both you and mitzi terribly amusing, if suspiciously well informed about details.

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  5. I love turk-waaas. Now, I think this is the first pic I've seen of you! Woo Hoo.. :)

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  6. Let me state for the record, I have never met nor am I, Turk'waas thudy-fo. I’m fo’dee tree. Any semblance or similarity to an actual Turk’waas is purely coincidental. Besides I would never be caught dead in that outfit, those shoes or that room for that matter.

    ReplyDelete