Top 40 Full Course:
Listening to the American Top 40 can be a lesson in patience. A slow death of repetitious melodic ennui. I mean how many times within one hour can one hear the same song? A lot! Just a ten minute listen is like an over filling full course meal of sugary sweet nausea.
Appetizer: Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
Not a bad song but after about 50 listens you begin to wonder if Leona is ever going to just hurry up and bleed to death already.
Main course: Touch My Body - Mariah Carey
A shrill lesson in passive aggressive psychopathy.
“If there's a camera up in here Then I'd best not catch this flick On YouTube...I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN” Now Touch my body Touch my body Touch my body...I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN."
Dessert: Shawty get loose - Lil Mama
"Shawty get loose Blah Blah Blah Baby do wat u do just wash that nasty hurrr...It's a reason why I spit what I spit cause I spit u can't stop the spit and the spit is the shit so..."
I think I need to be excused from the table cause I feel like I need to spit-up and I can’t stop the spit-up oh shit here come the spit-up so...
That’s why I have instituted a new routine. In between shoveling sugar tripe down my throat I turn to the Art Showcase channel and let the classics and opera singers wash over me. It’s like a sorbet for the ears, cleansing the palate and purging it of the nasty rap and hip hop culture we live in.
Joan Sutherland & Marilyn Horne - Viens Mallika/Flower duet
My favorite flavor would have to be Dame Joan Sutherland. Who you say? JOAN SUTHERLAND...I say. She with the incredible lantern jaw and Italian top coiffures. The Prima Donna Diva coloratura soprano who possesses the powerful robust bel canto. I feel so much better after swallowing some Joan that I can continue with my next course of tripe. I worship her and so should you!